Words Prosper Keating Photographs Guzman
Special thanks to Lynnette Widder for letting us photograph Bigfoot in her stunning Usonia home, The Lurie House.
Learn more about the restoration of Lurie House in issue 9.
Turns out Bigfoot is very eloquent and shares a deep affinity for the architecture of Frank Lloyd Wright and the writings of Kurt Vonnegut.
Who Knew?
Prosper Keating has interviewed some challenging subjects, including Paco Rabanne, Ken Russell, Leni Riefenstahl, James Ellroy and Miki “Da Cat” Dora. So when an important literary agent proposed an exclusive interview with a reclusive, best-selling author bearing a message for humankind, it was like catnip. Samples of the interviewee’s DNA tested as non-human.
Coast is clear — no one is home at The Lurie House.
Prosper Keating: Mister Sasquatch, before we talk about the message you have for humankind, let’s begin with a simple question…
Bigfoot: Call me Bigfoot. Sasquatch is too parochial. It’s based on a Salishan word for us that never really caught on. Bigfoot is more international.
PK: Mister Bigfoot, who are you and where do you come from?
BF: You’re asking two questions, neither of which is simple. But I can give you simple answers: I am who I am and I come from where I was.
PK: Could you perhaps be a bit more specific?
BF: That’s the trouble with humans nowadays. Too inquisitive for your own good. You were much better off in the past when you lived from day to day without asking pointless questions all the time.
Sofa by Finn Juhl. Slatted chair and chaise by Rex. Small Nakashima table, inscribed to Widder, by Mira Nakashima. Bigfoot learned yoga from his cousin in the Himalayas.
Lynnette Widder’s model of the Lurie house.
PK: With respect, you’re the one who proposed this interview. We like to know who we are dealing with. You say “we.” Are there more like you?
BF: Oh yes. We’re all around you, hiding in plain sight, like the elves, fairies and walking, talking trees you find so cute — as long as we stay in children’s books and movies and don’t stray into your reality.
PK: Right, so, who are you?
BG: Earthlings. We are of Mother Earth. We are Earthlings.
PK: Like us.
BF: That is debatable. Personally, I see you more as fauna, or as fungi on Mother Earth’s skin…
Searching for a pen in the study. Chair was given to Widder by one of the original Usonians, Joe Hillesum.
PK: Fungi? We are an advanced life form…
BF: Yes, but some of you are a bit too ‘advanced,’ aren’t you? You’ve forgotten how to live in balance with Mother Nature. She has become an enemy to be resisted, conquered. But Mother Nature always wins in the end. Species that become too prolific or problematic tend to become extinct. You cut tumors out. Mother Nature does the same thing.
PK: Tumors?
BF: Calm down. You’re a long way from extinction, as long as you avoid nuclear war. You might want to avoid sending probes into outer space, though. You don’t know who might turn up and kill you all. Like the last time.
PK: What last time?
BF: I’m not here to talk about the past. Stick to digging up dinosaur bones and trying to establish links between humankind and monkeys and apes. It’s safer.
PK: Are you not related to apes yourselves?
BF: Do I look like an ape to you? I admit we sometimes get mistaken for bears when we’re checking out empty houses or dumpster-diving but that suits us fine.
The red cabinet, designed by Widder, allows light to enter the new guest room.
PK: You burgle empty houses?
BF: No. We squat empty houses. It makes a change from caves and grottos. It also keeps them safe from burglars. Many a burglar has run away screaming about bears. Or monsters. I like the houses here in Usonia. It’s such a shame that Frank Lloyd Wright’s vision of the Built Environment didn’t catch on.
PK: Hang on. On the one hand, you’re suggesting that humankind was better off when we were primitive and living in balance with Mother Nature and on the other, you’re extolling the virtues of one of our most avant-garde architects?
Reflections can be a scary thing. Reconfigured main bedroom with original windows.
BF: Wright understood the need to control humans. His designed communities would have kept your numbers down, for one thing. All those tiny little bedrooms and common living spaces. Less humans, less consumption, less garbage. And garbage is the focal point of the message I bring for humankind.
PK: Garbage?
BF: Start with garbage and work backwards.
PK: Come again?
BF: You are producing too much garbage. The oceans are full of it. It’s everywhere! Our Nepalese cousins find your garbage on top of the highest mountains on the planet. To produce less garbage, you need to consume less. To consume less, you need to reduce consumption.
PK: Okay, but as soon as anyone suggests this, most people glaze over or throw a tantrum because they think you’re just trying to take their goodies away.
The suspended cabinet and low countertop are from the original Domoto design and have been refurbished by Lynnette Widder.
BF: They’re listening to Greta Thunberg, aren’t they?
PK: Some of our more enlightened humans are listening to her. But ecology has been turned into a political football.
BF: You’re a journalist. Supposing you wrote an article about apples and oranges individually wrapped in plastic. I see this all the time in your supermarkets. Write about how fruit comes with its own wrappers, which you can even throw out of your car or off your boat with no risk to wildlife and ecological balance. You write for fashion magazines: tell people they don’t need so many clothes…
Bottled figure of a Bigfoot relative set in a new cabinet with original glass doors.
PK: I’m not sure any fashion magazines would publish an article like that.
BF: You should stop eating meat.
PK: But you eat meat.
BF: Actually, we’re what you call vegan. Which is good news for humans. But the huge numbers of cattle needed to feed your burger habit! A cow isn’t even worth the food and water it consumes. Do you know how damaging bovine flatulence is to the atmosphere? And then there is the packaging. More garbage! In the past, you just killed and ate your prey on the spot. No garbage. Anyway, start with the symptom and work backwards. Get everyone agreeing that garbage is bad, and the rest will fall into place. Anyway, that’s it. Time to go.
PK: I still have some questions for you. Can we talk about your books?
On the back patio reading Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut.
BF: I write under pseudonyms so I can’t really discuss them with you. We’re out of time. The owner of this house will be here soon. Don’t worry about it. Most readers will think you made it all up, anyway.
Footnote: If you’d like to learn more about Bigfoot, we strongly advise that you don't.
Prosper Keating is the European Editor of Fashion Unfiltered, a former Vogue and Vogue Hommes International editor. Prosperkeating.com
Guzman are regular contributors to UD. Lesguzman.com
